It all started around spring break. I was burnt out. Maybe it was the insane sub zero winter we had that there were days in a row we couldn’t leave the house. Maybe it was the constant fighting with Puppy about doing his math. (Not kidding one page would take two hours!!) I felt disorganized, rushed, and for some reason I kept comparing my kids to other mom’s kids and convinced myself I was screwing them up.
I also realized that I wasn’t spending the time with God that I needed. I started loosing my focus. So after a long and honest prayer with God and equally long conversations with my husband and best friend, I realized that I hadn’t truly embraced my homeschool life.
I know what your thinking!! What your in your second year!!! Truth was I was going through the motions. Even though I was learning all I could about homeschooling, curriculum choices, co ops, homeschool bands, and the dreaded socialization issue, truth was my head and heart didn’t match.
I knew in my head this is where my family needed to be. Erik and I had prayed over it and knew this was what God wanted from us. But my heart didn’t match. I struggled fiercely with feeling “qualified” to homeschool. That God must be crazy thinking I should homeschool my kids. I doubted. I second guessed what God wanted for my family. Yeah not smart. But then I remembered this saying:
He will qualify me to do this crazy, unbelievable, amazing, scary, most rewarding thing I have ever done. He will give me my DAILY bread. I need to be with God DAILY to do this. Not once in a while or when times get tough. Every day. So as I closed this second year of homeschooling I will chalk it up as a success. We all grew. We all learned. We wrestled with hard things but made it through together. If I teach my kids anything I want them to love God and to love to learn.
So as I sit here looking through curriculum for the fall I realize I will officially be schooling 3 different grades. Little One will officially start kindergarten, Puppy will go into third, and Chief will start seventh grade. So here is the bumps that may come. Because with the hard you appreciate the joy so much more. Every day I will choose JOY. This short time with my kids is precious. The days are long but the years are short. Oh how I have come to appreciate that lately. So thank you God for this opportunity to be with my children. I am more grateful than even I realized.